Pointless Drivel

Dance Recital Day

Today is Dance Recital Day.  Possibly the most anticipated day of the Spring.

The Shmunkin has been taking dance classes at Big Girl School for a while now -- more than a year, I think -- and today is the day of the Big Performance.  I actually saw a mini-performance a few months ago at the day care itself, which featured a whole lot of small people being directed to do things by a young woman who obviously had too much coffee.  But today is the Big Day.

We've know this has been coming for some time, which is part of the reason there is so much anticipation.  Back in December or January, we received a letter from the company that does the dance classes indicating there would be a recital, and asking for $60 for the costume that, of course, can only be used once during an actual event.  A month or so ago, we got the costume itself, complete with instructions on how to wear it.

More recently, we have been counting the days to the day.  For the last two weeks, every morning, as she wakes up, The Shmunkin will say, "How many days before Dance Recital Day?" 

To really bring things to a head, yesterday evening we went out and bought her some brand new ballet slippers.  She was so pleased, she insisted on practicing her steps right there in the store.  With every pair she tried on.

So this morning, after bellowing for me at 6:30, she asked, "Is today Dance Recital Day?" 

"Yes, it is," I replied. 

"Oh," she said, "I am so excited."

Then she waited all of thirty minutes before asking to put her costume on.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Later That Same Day...

Well, that was interesting.  Not exactly what I expected.  And by "not exactly," I mean we actually found a spot to sit on the aisle toward the front of the auditorium, and I actually had space for my legs.  Other than that, it was exactly what I expected.  And, for the most part, that's a good thing.  Here are some pictures:

 

 

 

We're Number 1

As I've mentioned in passing a couple of times, we are in the process of adopting another baby. This one from Korea, rather than China, and for several reasons, not the least of which is the length of time it takes to even get a referral -- meaning you have been matched with a child, and can choose to accept or reject the referral.

When we adopted The Shmunkin, we had about a seven month wait from the time our paperwork reached the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA) and when we got Shmunkie's first pictures. It was about two and a half months later than we actually went to China to get her. Now, the wait is much longer. According to friends of ours whose paperwork was sent in January, the current estimate wait is 28 months, and could end up even longer.

Back to the point, we are adopting from Korea this time, where the wait times are much shorter. There hasn't been as much information from me this time as when we adopted The Shmunkin -- remember, the whole reason I started the original version of this blog was to track our Shmunkin adoption -- and for several reasons. First, we don't get as much information. In the China program, everything ran according to a pre-sent schedule: Information gets sent to CCAA and, after a waiting period, you reach the Matching Room, then you get matched, then you receive the referral, then permission to travel, then you go. And since we were placed in a Travel Group, it was easy to follow where we and several other groups ahead of us were in the process. They even had a hot-line we could call every week to see which groups were at what stage.

With Korea, there is no travel group, and there is no process to follow. Babies are referred as they become available, so there is no way to guess. When we were first accepted into the program last fall, we were told to expect a wait of nine months or so for a referral, and that they averaged three or four a month. Some more, some less. But now we have learned we are actually at the top of the list, meaning the next girl from Korea available to adopt through our agency will be referred to us.

What does that mean? Well, I don't know, exactly. It certainly doesn't speak to a timing thing. After all, we first found out more than two weeks ago we were first on the list, and haven't heard anything yet. But we could hear at any moment. Just thought you might be interested. I'll keep you updated.

Just Say "No" to Silver Platters

The Democrats in this country have the best chance of winning the White House in more than three generations.  For them, it is the surest election since 1944; sixty-four years.  Granted, they have won elections between then and now, but not since Franklin Roosevelt threw his hat into the ring for a fourth term has a Democratic victory been such a sure thing.

And they're going to screw it up.

Let's face facts, George W. Bush is a failed President.  He has done little for this country, short of get us into a war so expensive it is immeasurably increasing our national debt, dragging down the price of our currency, throwing our economy into a tailspin and making his friends in the oil companies rich beyond their wildest dreams.  His popularity is about the lowest any President's has ever been.  He may very well be worse than Warren Harding -- an administration that defined incompetence.  Anyone even remotely connected with Bush -- like being a member of his party -- stands no chance of winning election.

On top of that, the country leans Democratic in the first place.  I firmly believe that if every person who was eligible to vote actually did, Democrats would win every time.  How can I be so sure?  Well, for starters, we always hear high voter turnout tends to help Democrats.  That tells me people who are eligible to vote, but, for one reason or another don't, must be more likely to vote Democrat.  It is also telling that, the final national polls prior to a general election tend to give Democrats a six to eight percentage point swing, as compared to the actual results.  I think people who are eligible, but unlikely, to vote still want their opinions heard, so when they answer the first question -- whether they will vote or not - they say "yes."  But since they don't actually intend to vote, what they say skews the final results.

Back to the point: The Democrats should ride into a landslide victory on Election Day on a wave of anti-Bush sentiment.  At least, that's what I said a year ago.  Now, I'm not so sure.  Because, now, it appears there isn't a Democrat capable of winning.  That's right, in an election where the Democrats could have nominated a three-toed sloth (as long as it was born in America) and still won the White House, it looks like they just may lose in November.

Having watched politics pretty much my entire life, I have concluded Republicans have simply figured out how to win Presidential elections.  Granted, they don't win all of them, but the fact that they win some is surprising.  And, yet, Republicans have won nearly two-thirds of the Presidential Elections since World War Two, and three-fourths since the Era of the Hippie, when, based on news coverage and media bias, one would think the Democrats would be in charge all the time.

So what's the difference?  Simple.  Republicans tend to nominate candidates that have the best chance of winning, then get behind that candidate.  Democrats, on the other hand, nominate based on whichever candidate most fulfills their politically-correct ideal of who should be President.  Then when that candidate tries to move to the center of the political spectrum to appeal to a broader voter base, those actually in the center don't buy it, and the party's liberal core feel abandoned, so they look to someone else.  By contrast, the Republicans seems to very effectively move to the center.

The 2000 election is a prime example.  Al Gore was nominated by the Democrats solely for his reputation in the field of Global Warming.  When he then tried to take a moderate stance to appeal to centrist voters, he alienated the extreme left wing of the party, who flocked to Ralph Nadar.  George Bush, on the other hand, won the nomination because he is an extreme conservative, then won the election by pretending to be a moderate.  2004 was similar.  The fact is, the only reason Bush was able to win either election is because the Democratic candidates were that bad.

(And don't talk to me about "cheating," "voter fraud," and "stolen elections."    Every party involved has cheated in virtually every major election ever held.  If Bush won by cheating in 2000, it was only because he cheated more effectively than Gore did.  It all balances out in the end.  Get over it.)

This year, in an election in which the Democratic candidate shouldn't matter in the final result, it appears Clinton and Obama are spending so much time sniping about who better represents the Democratic faithful, they are convincing centrist voters neither of them are right.  And why?  Why doesn't Hillary just step down gracefully and let Obama continue?  She certainly agrees that a Democrat would be better than McCain, no matter who that Democrat is, doesn't she? 

Well, frankly, no.  I don't think she cares who is President, if it isn't her.  She wants not just to be President, but to be the first woman President so badly, she is willing to do absolutely anything to make it happen.  I think she had concluded (right or wrong) that this is her one and only shot at being the first woman President, and she is desperate to make it happen.  And I further believe that, if this is not her year, she thinks she has an outside chance in four years, but only if McCain wins the general election.  In other words, I think there is a strong possibility that, assuming Obama wins the nomination, she will actually try to sabotage his election, giving her one final chance four years from now, if McCain turns out to be a failure.

Isn't politics fun?

The Other Dells

Interesting place, Wisconsin Dells. We were there over the weekend for our second annual China Travel Group reunion, giving us a chance to catch up on the goings on of others who adopted little girls from China the same time we did.

I've probably passed by Wisconsin Dells hundreds of times over the years, and never had the desire to stop. It just never seemed my cup of tea (a phrase which, I'll wager, is rarely, if ever, uttered in the Dells area). This focus of Wisconsin Tourism is centered in Lake Delton, a town of about 4,000 that probably swells to more than 20,000 on any given weekend in the summer. More, I would think, on holiday weekends.

For years, I assumed The Dells was a vacation spot for bikers and people whose primary residences are designed with portability and tornadoes in mind -- a belief confirmed when I had a flat tire there one Saturday evening about fifteen years ago. But more recently, based in large part on the invention of full-service water parks, a number of very impressive resorts have sprung up.

The hotel/resort we stayed in is a massive, seemingly well-built and very modern complex that includes something like three or four indoor water parks, a couple of outdoor water parks, and other activities. Great fun for the whole family and, really, not overly expensive. Well, except the breakfast buffet which, if I remember right from last year, was something like $18 or $20 per person for food of pretty questionable quality. Although kids eat free, so that certainly makes up for it.

Near the hotel complex are a number of very nice restaurants, as well. There's one called Buffalo Phil's with great BBQ based food, and is also pretty inexpensive, as BBQ places go. Plus, The Shmunkin loved the hat.

But the other Wisconsin Dells is still there. The first night we were there, I had to find a drug store, which forced me to drive out of the Resort Zone and into the original Wisconsin Dells. This is a town with a serious bi-polar disorder. The original zone is exactly what I had expected so many years before: Cheesy (it is Wisconsin, after all) hotels with masses of people standing around on balconies; Parking lots filled with more people playing football and throwing Frisbees; groups of people walking around, drinking and just generally hanging out; and loads of cars cruisin' the streets.

As a classic example of The Other Wisconsin Dells: There was a car show while we were there, as I suspect there may be every weekend. Not a car show in the traditional sense, but one in which people with old cars they have souped up over the years show up to drive their old cars. And the local police department put out a memo we received when we checked into the hotel. It refers to "...numerous problems in years past..." and lists "...common violations that will be vigorously enforced." Among them are the usual suspects: DWI, Reckless Driving, Speeding, Open Bottle, Trespassing and Disorderly Conduct. But it also includes interesting violations, like Disorderly Conduct with a Motor Vehicle, which apparently means squealing or smoking tires, excessive exhaust noise (that, of course, should be a law everywhere), and blowing smoke -- which I assume doesn't mean from a cigar.

Perhaps most interesting were some of the fines. Of eleven fines listed, only one was what I would consider a "normal" amount. It was $375 for Reckless Driving. And maybe some of the others, like $501, $793, $249 and $186 included some other type of surcharge bringing it to an odd number. But where did they come up with $160.80 for Open Intoxicants in Public, and $135.60 for Pedestrians on a Street or Highway? I mean, what if someone is only able to come up with the $135? If they try panhandling for the rest, they could get another fine.

Yeah, it's an interesting place.

Reach Out and Slap Someone Upside the Head

Be honest, when's the last time you used the telephone directory for anything other than for a kid to sit on at the grown-up table or to chase that cat out of your yard?  Any one of the dozens of types of yellow page books handed out every year.  Yellow Book?  Verizon?  Dex?  Dog Spittle Weekly?  Any of them?

Of course you haven't.  No one does.  Well, no one who would be reading this, anyway, since anyone who has progressed to the point of pushing the "On" button on a computer uses the InterWebs to find phone numbers, not the yellow pages.

There was a time when letting your fingers do the walking was the best way of finding what you were looking for.  Be it a lawyer, a doctor, a massage or just a place that will deliver a pizza, the Yellow Pages were the key.  But since the advent of such modern marvels as the Internet, Directory Assistance and smoke signals, the Yellow Pages just aren't needed anymore.

And yet there they are, sitting on my doorstep three or four times a year, delivered unsolicited and waiting for me to take them inside, where they will sit, alone and unused, while I struggle to remember how we are supposed to dispose of them -- it is illegal to throw them away in Minnesota, but you can't put them in with the regular recyclng -- until I finally sneak out in the middle of the night and, under the cover of darkness, put them in my neighbor's garbage.

Sadly, we can't opt out of getting them.  You can't just call up the directory publisher and say you don't want one.  They don't care if you want one or not.  They make their money by charging for advertising -- merely having your name in the directory -- and the more people that use the directory, the more they can justify charging for the ads.  And, since they have no way at all to know how many people are actually using the directory, all they can go by is the number of books in circulation.  Which, incidentally, may explain why we got two sets of the Dex books this year.  That, or we've gained so much weight we now count as two households.

The point is, we're caught in something of a trap.  Since everything we could possibly want to look up can be found on-line in a format much easier and quicker to search -- including sites for all of the major phone book publishers -- there is really no need to have the books themselves, and they just sit around junking up the house.  We can't opt out of them, since the people who print them make money based on how many they distribute.  And we can't get rid of them, since they can't be thrown in the garbage, and can't go in the regular recycling.  Even worse, if you happen to spill some kind of food product on them, they can't go into the special phone book recycling, either, so there is actually nothing that can be done with them.

It's like nuclear waste.  We need one of two things:  Either some Native American tribe in Nevada is going to have to offer to take them off our hands and store them in underground bunkers in the Yucca mountains, or, like mercury, we need to enact dozens of laws outlining what can be done with them.

Or maybe we can use them to mop up all that extra water we're supposed to get from global warming.

STOP THE YELLING

I'm thinking of writing a book. An instruction manual, of sorts, on customer service. I've been in the customer service business for a while now. Like, most of my adult life, and I have figured out a few things about both giving and receiving good service.

It isn't really hard, but there are a few basic rules to follow, which I have used to great success. I once was able to get a computer repair place to move my computer ahead of about thirty others and do what I requested in a few hours, after they told me it would take two to three weeks. Another time, I talked a cell phone provider into waiving their early termination fee after I canceled an account with them and returned a phone. That was despite my having removed the UPC code from the original packaging and sending it in for the rebate, and in violation of the rules clearly written on the contract I signed that specifically said I could no longer cancle the contract. What's more, I pointed the rule out to them.

In getting (or giving) decent service, among the most important rules to follow is: Don't get mad. Getting angry with people and raising your voice doesn't make them do things faster or to our preference. It makes them defensive, and nothing gets accomplished. Also, know who you are talking to, and exactly what they can and cannot accomplish. If you're speaking with someone who has no authority to do what you want them to do, it simply cannot get done.

These rules came to mind yesterday evening while at a Sprint store, and observing someone violating said rules. The Ways and Means Committee wanted a cell phone of her very own. We had dropped her from my plan because she had a phone through her job, where she no longer works. But the entire time we were at the store, I was watching in voyeuristic fascination as a young woman was trying to get some charge or other removed from her account. I don't know exactly what the issue was -- she was on the other side of the store -- but I could tell she was very upset as she was arguing with both the guy in the store and Customer Service Representative on the phone.

To his credit, the salesman was very calm and even-tempered, despite the abuse this woman was dishing out. And she longer she went without success, the angrier she got. But here's the thing: Neither the salesperson nor the CSR could do anything to fix her problem. The one with Sprint, that is. It seemed apparent it could only be handled By a managerial-level person. And I don't mean a customer service supervisor. The only difference between a CSR and a CSR Supervisor is one claims they are the supervisor; they are lying. The regular, low-level CSR you are talking to probably pretends to be a supervisor when one of his or her co-workers needs someone who "elevate" a call. No, I mean she needed someone who actually has the authority to make decisions. People who certainly would not be working at seven on a Friday evening.

I so badly wanted to walk over to this woman and say, "Here's the deal...There is nothing these people can do for you, but here is how you can get around it..." But I didn't. Since that time I tried giving sales tips to a Best Buy employee, the Ways and Means Committee keeps me on a tight rein in public.

I won't go into all the details of how Miss Upset could have accomplished her goal. I'll save that for the book I will likely never write. But I will say this: Every large company on the planet (and many of the small ones) has employees who are not only willing to help solve "elevated" customer issues, but are happy to. And better yet, they have the authority. You just need to find them. Before you call, get all your information in front of you. Then stay calm, explain the issue you are having, and ask, "Are you the best person to speak to about this?" If they are not the best person, ask, "Who should I contact?" You'll be surprised at how far you get.